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News: 7th August 2006

Bohs Out Of League Cup

Shelbourne 1

Bohemians 0

The spoofer bottled yet another game against a top-four side, picking up a mysteriously convenient hamstring injury just a couple of hours before kick-off. However, his replacement, Thomas Heary, alongside Joxer Kelly, proved that we are better off without the one hundred and thirty thousand euro a year 'superstar', who week after week proves his lack of commitment to our club.

Vinny Viagra was rightly sent off after 8 minutes for a deliberate elbow against Hawkins. The aged striker then went on to have his best game for Bohs. The ever-crap Jason McGuinness was also sent off after 80 minutes for kicking a Shels player. The bright side is that both of these cowboys will now be suspended.

Bohs huffed and puffed throughout this match, flattering to deceive, and giving the blind a "performance to be proud of". Moral victories don't count for much when they're awarding trophies, and Setanta Cup places. I'm not sure this could even be called a moral victory, as Bohs didn't exactly make the Shelbourne 'keeper work too hard. By the standards of the spoofer though, and the Bohs board, only losing 1-0 and not losing 8-0 may very well count as a moral victory, and another corner turned.